Bri Guys Braindump


podcast ideas w/Briccs (and possibly BrianSOFX and/or CanadIAN):

“Bri Guys” is a legit name, can we track-down who coined it?  It wasn’t any of us I don’t think…


we should have a repeating segment called “Oh No, it’s ERIN!” where we bring her onto the zoom call and then dump her out mid-sentence

we need to put faces to names in the RLC, and there’s MANY ways to do that:
feature one per ep?
based on names? all the davids one time, the only jody another,
def should have “features” with any female RLC members, the skank skanks, etc

“Briccs puts tits on stuff” another recurring segment, we take suggestions via twitter/chat/etc and Briccs puts tits on it while I fill
“Trophy Husband Corner” — probably a bit touchy, we don’t wanna give away ALL the secrets — but being a house-husband in the time of gender fluidity should generate some content

“You’re FUCKING UP” — my corner where I rant about AA cowards, proper mirror alignment on your car, how to use a microwave like a non-retard

“Occasional Recipe Corner” — like Something’s Burning except I show you how to make grilled stuft burritos, my fancy-ass spaghetti, homemade phillys, no knead bread

Briccs I’m certain has at least a couple recurring segments with his talents/wife/history/etc — need to start chatting him up on the phone

HHM was funny, he could def be a regular 3rd chair

Who else? MrNeg, Jux… cdumps? DBow was surprisingly hilarious if you could get him talking…

funny names for segments: “hit the briccs” “brian’s brain” “brian vs brian” “get off my lawn” (for me as a geezer) “it’s a briccs… HOUSE” “SOFX Florida Report”

talent we should feature on the show:
I am almost certainly the stand-up historian, while not-at-all the latest podcast talent expert
Briccs and most of the RLC know all the pods and all the hosts
A segment with Erin doing a rundown would be cool once in awhile, she can be the remote reporter giving us 30 seconds summaries of the 200 podcasts she watches each week)

would be a LOT of fun to interact with the chat regularly through the show once we can do live, like RAP x10. At worst would be discord, which has an all-star team but also a few duds, and probably not ENOUGH people to provide reliable one-liners
would be a BANNER ep to quiz the RLC on what they think our “mystery” guest looks like, for example HDNW: blond or brunette? tall or short? skinny or fat? and THEN reveal them on zoom!

** OOOH — we could also do “DOXX THE DOUCHEBAG” or “DOXX THE DEGEN” where we back-trace an RLC member based on what the chat knows about them, we know about them, their insta, etc
could even be staged and they’re in on it, but that’s an extra whole layer of funny and opportunity for “OH SHIT!!!” if they’re not revealed, like “this is your degenerate life”
“This cocksucker lost his virginity to his COUSIN, knocked some bitch up and now has 3 dumb kids who hate his guts, oh and he’s also a fucking filthy COP, please welcome: MarkCino!”

Me and Zac talk Serial Killers — Bi-Guys crossover

=================== new 12/7

segment entries:

Get off my lawn: dabbing vs smoking, AA cowards?, adults who haven’t shit their pants,
Undertow’s VR Corner: only one episode, maybe recurring, where I simply explain get a VR headset and all the VR porn you can store and whack it
*after we have some clout, even a little, Zac and I need to do a Bi-Guys Bri-Guys crossover ep where we just talk serial killers, etc.
Ideally I would go to NY with a suitcase full of my memorabilia, my strait jacket, my lecter fiberglass mask
Review our faves (BTK, GSK, Gacy, Dahmer, Shawcross!), talk about the sinthasomphones and mke at the time of dahmer
*go back thru my voice memos, there’s sure to be a kitsch topic worth making a segment about
You’re Fucking Up: get a big bubba, and pour the booze in at the END to knock down the foam
Fake Newds: Briccs and HHM post on-topic fake nudes of whoever is in the spotlight that week, etc.
BriAnarchist Cookbook: use a tin of kodiak to kill someone. make napalm at home. **MAKE AN EXIT BAG!!!!****
The Half-a-Brian segment (like half-a-brain), where we interview Ian’s (Canadian, my nephew, NrNeg? There’s some other legit Ian, who I think is also a Canuck?)
Dead Dad Corner: doesn’t have to be that, but let’s see what we have in common that way? siblings? dead parents? other hilarious childhood traumas lol?
*find out HHM’s skillset and availability, can he be at least recording some one-offs? I can edit (and maybe should?), anyone in the circle who can AfterEffects?
**we don’t all need to be present, probably even one of us kinda half-hosting a clip show we made of random pieces and chat interactions… I’d love for it to be on after Skanks, it’s fucking Monday for fuck’s sake
***until we know whether anyone even watches, the one thing we CANT probably do is live chat interaction, altho in the long run I feel like that’s the angle — Chat carries the SHOW as often as not, so…
*i think we stretch out getting to know the RLC studs, to build a chat following our little sewing circle of comedy nerds. Once chat is hoppin, the content practically makes ITSELF.
perhaps focus on the ones we can immediately keep including as guests (based on free time, trophy husbands, merit — HHM, maybe OJ, maybe DBow)
*** Let’s toss it out to the community, too, (I think i typed this in dicord but didn’t write it down), submit your 5-10m clips of whatever you think is funny and we’ll watch and talk about the best ones
^^ who’s most justified thinking they’re funny?
Undertow’s Memorabilia Corner: a play on my shit memory, maybe I do my ticket poster, my SK memorabilia, strait jacket, samurai armor
**** this’ll need some selling, but I’ve always wanted to do a Meyers-Briggs thing with comics. Maybe when we have some clout. Invite a comic on even over Zoom, spend the $20 for the in-depth online Meyers Briggs, and then break down their personality types to see what sticks
I bet we’ll uncover PATTERNS. We’re almost ALL gonna be IxTx’s, even the COMICS I’d wager
CDumps could have a segment called Chelsie Dumps, or Chelsie Takes a Dump, or Chelsie Dumps One (is she cdumps1? in any case doxxing her first name is literally the top hit googling cdumps)
Girls We Fucked — we can prob find a few RLC or inner circle illuminati who can either tell a story of a crazy bitch (Kim for me), or get her on the phone like Sagalow and his girl and have a hilarious conversation
emphasis on not outing OURSELVES, let’s make some of these “I’m 7 foot tall and my cock touches my knee” motherfuckers pony up for free
Zoom Crowd Work — this would be fun, a bunch of us jump on zoom or discord and just roast each other’s face and hair and living conditions
**This could become Who’s Most Poorest? or Who’s Most Broke-ass? Where ppl send in selfies of themselves where they listen to Skanks or whatevs. I’m in my basement which looks like an episode of Hoarders, for example
You’re Fucking Up: Why aren’t we ALL running for office? Run as a Repub in most States, you’re up against someone who “wasn’t great at math or English” and no matter how deep you put your hands in everyone’s pockets, you come out rich and unscathed.
BriAnarchist Cookbook: arteries and where to find them. Emphasis on carotid and renal, they’re really all you need to know except femoral, and that’s a rare target
Ninja Fun Facts: dislocated baby joints, clans, straight swords, why there’s a square hole in genuine shuriken
*Better yet, just a “Deep Dive” or “Fun Facts” and a shitload of people contribute — everybody has a cool Drunk History style thing they know!!!
My paper on medeival torture, my being penpals with Arthur Shawcross in college, feudal Japan (ninjas thru gunpowder)
Can even be something we choose to research, like I could do a corner on BTK’s slip-knots, not unlike some the Ninja used, where struggling mechanically closed off your windpipe)
also BTK using stacked dinnerware on the biggest threats? He may not have had the absolute swagger of GSK, but he was a goddamned Pioneer
a Deep Dive on GSK is also in order, given some of that is still pending. Steven Avery and Brandon Dassey, too! We forget so quickly!
The Staircase and Paradise Lost. *NOTE: This likely needs to be a single segment so this isn’t a serial killer podcast, but it is imminently interesting
This would take an incredible effort on my part, but I could clip together an “elevator pitch” for each series replete with clips/photos/etc
What’d You Wanna Be? This is random, but I bet there’s a handful of RLC’ers who had a crazy plan for what they were gonna be — I was gonna be a forensic pathologist, for example. If you wanted to be a princess or a fireman or an astronaut, fuck you. I also wanted to be Indiana Jones for a GOOD part of my childhood. Or a compensated Michael Jackson victim.
Oh — MNelson. Anyone know him? Vouch for him? I feel like him and I don’t cross a ton, but he’s always made me laugh hysterically, and not through shit-talk like 80% of the RLC
Same with Hitler, I maybe kinda LIKE not having any idea if HDNW is some little twink riding his bike to work cuz of all his DUI’s or if he’s instead a barrel-chested black man with dreadlocks and a keen sense of irony

Set up a gmail account, and try to form a (brief) segment where we talk to an absolute newb from the chat. Ya know, the kind that ask on Friday whether it’s gonna be live. 50% will be Ba-Ba-Booie and spread buttholes, but honestly that’s better than a newb being interesting, no? WAY more likely!
*** Porn Search Terms: (1st off, come up with a MUCH better name), but then: splitscreen! CIM! brainmelter! sissy brainwash (careful, boys!), let the millenials share what they got!!!!!!
**I laugh EVERY time I hear Luis on RAP say “Hey _______ … …. ….. Whatcha Snackin On?”
Can we PLEASE rip this off? “Whatcha Whackin To?” would be a good name for the porn search terms (!), “Whatcha Rollin’?” for neat subscriber cars/harleys/unicycles (the millenials call them “whips”)

“I want to go to there” (thanks Liz Lemon, probably there’s a better name), RLC members send in a video of any length selling us on why they live in the best area/climate/house-husband
Like that fag who sent in the awesome house and pool party and sluts he was gonna provide and then backed out like a bitch
SOFX can do the crocodile report, that’s almost certainly weekly in FL even if not in his backyard
Briccs could do the “Deliverence Delivery” where he reports on banjo and ass rape in the Appalachians
HHM could do whatever the hell is going on wherever the fuck he lives. Do we know anyone in Buffalo? Dem niggaz get like 18′ of snow every few years and still they stay. SIBERIA doesn’t get that shit.
Street Jokes! This comes up in chat every now and again, and I learned immediately that we ALL grew up reading Truly Tsateless Jokes books! I’ve heard a small handful that resulted in spit-takes!
***the added advantage is, you can just send in an audio clip if you’re horrifically ugly or an unknown, or a little tiktok type vid of you walking around Auschwitz telling an Anne Frank joke — for US, that’s ZERO WORK muwahahahahahaha!!!!!!

FUCK, for a lot of my indivudal segments i need a remote-ish camera, meaning I prolly better figure out how to do all this on my iPhone and still have high quality easily convertable MOV

What about a “You’re Fucking Up! Feature Edition” where people sends us their life hacks and we either have our lives changed (rear view mirrors) or laugh our dicks off (poop knife). Taking the keys out of the ignition if you pull over drunk? Wise move or wives’ tale?

Movie Corner. Super-hack and not worth any of our time… however is low-hanging fruit if we need to fill time. Maybe not keeping up with the latest, but desert island movies, shit like that. Mine is the Notebook only because I don’t wanna accidentally try to stay alive on a desert island, I ALREADY kinda wanna die, so that’ll grease the wheels

RLC Origin Stories – intentionally benign clips of RLC alums giving their “my life in 5 minutes or less” stories, I used to do this at AirBNBs and it was a stinker mostly, but BOY when it WORKED?!?! GOLD
The title of the segment should be announced like the opening of a meditation tape, repeated gently in a soft female voice “Origin stories… (origin stories…)”
^^ being honest this is a stab at segueing to one of my good stories, one I’ve told on-stage… which is potentially offensively self-aggrandizing, but with an outside eye could ABSOLUTELY be a low-rent “This is Not Happening!” We all have a few war stories we’ve polished over the years to maximize the delivery, I mean COME ON!!!!! It’s Star Search for reclusive autists who love comedy!
We can call it “This IS Happening!” because one of Ari’s biggest regrets is not realizing that’s the best name for his storytelling show post-CC, so it’s up for grabs

Get off my Lawn: the wonders of covid: grocery pickup, food DELIVERY, and less traffic. Albeit only the box stacking retards out there, so not really less dangerous. If you can type, you aren’t commuting.

Whatcha Workin On (or) Whatcha Worried About: DYI segment, esp for those of us without Dads. Never pay anyone to fix your furnace, and never pay to get your brakes done. Water Softeners, Custody Battles, Criminal Defense — we have a BREADTH of knowledge we should find an avenue to share.
ie my entire 420 show in Denver, making certain every single person in that theater KNEW not to fall for the “drug sniffing dogs ahead, be prepared to stop” sign

Up against a wall for content, there’s always Luis’ Twitch stream. I love Luis but he fucking sucks at video games. I know, I also suck. Taking the time to pore over the ever-growing pile of content he produces, it would be easy to create a segment with highlights, but also TIME CONSUMING. Maybe someone in RLC is a huge Twitch Fan anda already watches the streams, in which case teach him how to tag jokes and we’ll do the rest

Are there other GaS Digital “tropes” we could capitalize on? Not my strong suit, but Ralph is old, Natalie is hot AND unachievable, Shannon in 300 years old… GaS Network “inside jokes” REALLY land with us, Exhibit A: Shane Gillis at Luis’ Roast telling Jay to “C’mon, write a JOKE! ONE! These guys are nippin’ at ya, and they SUCK”
*this is another area Briccs and a LOT of the “gang” can probably REALLY enlighten me, before the GaS Tapes I barely knew anyone, and me and Luis are STILL not certain wtf Tom does for the network.

Rip off SDR’s “Firsts?” Minus that lame ass song and intro? We’re not interviewing musicians or porn stars, we’re interviewing RLC trolls that have time to watch podcasts and have big dick energy for no reason.
nobody can nail all 3, but there’ll be a ton of great first time DRUGS and first time having SEX from the RLC Gen Pop, likely most will involve an uncle or a step-parent one way or another

‘Orror Stories — SUPER-hack, but also an easy one to farm out to the greater community, tell us your family/divorce/arrest stories, we’ll agree to blur and not name you, maybe
also “Real ‘Orrorshow, that” and I’ll host in a northern English accents

“Ketamine Corner” lolol… it will take some FILTERING, but what collective group of people are still functioning AFTER a serious drug problem? Not even OPRAH’S crowd has more actual tales to tell… Heroin, Molly, etc. This is potentially a GOLD MINE imho
“The Narcotics Nook” — “Better Living Through Chemistry” (hack but allows me to wax intellectual about how to do top-shelf blow from the comfort of your home, delivered by priority mail)
What about the “outside” drugs? I know ZIP about Kratom, I live in a state where epileptics can’t buy CBD but I can buy Delta-8 blunts rolled in keef at the goddammed GAS STATION
^^I’d love to DO this, but also 2 episodes in we’re just Duncan Trussell. On the other hand, we have SOBERS in our midst, PARENTS in our midst, recovering (and maybe NON-recovering) ADDICTS in our midst… let’s compare notes!

way outta left field, but what about Disassociative Corner? Ketamine, methadone, the heavy-duty truth serum shit. NVM this is dumb

*************** AHHHHH ********* EASIEST, BEST WAY TO HAVE A FEW EPS IN-THE-CAN::::: have a host or guest-host(s) do a Spookshow-style re-airing of select RAP/LOS episodes w/new commentary. The Poem. The Dance-off. Jay puking wine for an hour. Dave mashing it for 2 hours under the desk on SDR.
This is where some of the old-timers can really be a free asset — OJ has a pretty photographic memory, and there’s a few more fellas that have tracked down something obscure for me in short-order, during a live Ep
Also the business plan writes itself: we plan to maximize focus on historical episodes on GaS, hand-picked by the RLC Illuminati, including SDR. A formal business plan wins Ralph over, and for Luis we can just staple together a bunch of convincing nude Kim Congdon fakes from Briccs and the gang

I doubt this is anything but what about “where are they now?” I can only call to mind St Michael (pedo), yorubu (i don’t recall but it was AGGRESSIVE), but also waht about skank skanks? manhands? handbanana? all of OJ’s other personalities? wtf happened to them?

Even easier, with less research: esp for RLC folks, who has been banned and WHY. We don’t have transcripts so this may be a dud, but the two times I’ve been banned in the GaS arena were for implying Kim Congdon chewed too loud, and once for calling Luis a “Camping Cum Dumpster” and it became a chant

Skankfest highlights. I mean, 1 had some life-altering experiences, but also I didn’t finger-blast Whitney Cummings

Also likely not aything, prob just whining, but also there’s some simple, high-level targets of what to fix on the NotWork. Servers, cool, it’s coming. Skankfest lineup changes? Insanely up-to-the MINUTE on the website somehow, but also they didn’t figure out signs for where lines should be until the last DAY?!?!? ***maybe don’t share the good stuff? like the couches behind the curtain at the yo kratom stage where you couldn’t see anyone but also neither could anyone actually AT the show? That well-kept secret remained until the end, I spent a SHITLOAD of time down thing

“Faggot Chase Me” would also kill time, funny RLC pet videos. Chase Me Faggot is funnier but when it was coined, it was “Faggot Chase Me” when Sport was aging out, I’m 90% certain. Some queers have cats, some have RATS (Erin), and some have dogs. Yet others have gargoyle killing machines like Pit Bulls. It’s not ground-breaking, but it def fills time and stirs discussion.

“Conspiracy Corner” — (did I already do this?!?) — an opportunity for MrNeg and some of the other wack-a-doos to proselytize about whether jet fuel can melt steel etc. etc. Also I spent 20 years of my life not believing we actually landed on the moon.

“How NOT to be a drug dealer” — only worth mentioning because I already have a well-edited video of the pot grower who simply didn’t have a front door on his house and escaped prosecution for years, and a comedian’s attempt to bring him prison supllies
This may more valuably be a catalyst for RLC crazy drug stories, which in a wider scope is probably ALSO an epic fountain of usable material that costs nothing to produce lolol
Hearing from the guys who’ve gone UP AGAINST IT, and didn’t take the Layne Staley way out — that’s incedibly riveting content but also we’re not the fucking Daily Show. Anyone with an old H habit and is still here to talk has a dozen stories to tell, but we don’t need to be Geraldo throwing back the curtain.

Incel Corner — we discuss being raised male in America with basically being told it was “all for the nookie,” and then even after success or money or fame, we realized nookie is a goddammed wildcard and probably not as necessary as you’d think. Bitches be crazy, with NO exception. Callback VR porn.

Whatcha Suckin’ On? A rarer segment where we discuss the latest developments in dab rigs, vapes, volcanos, etc.

Legit Online Skanks (LOS), a place for people to dump prolific pornhub and other free porn sites worthwhile contributors. If you don’t know Teacher of Magic, you MISSIN OUT
It would be AWESOME to have people weigh in on OnlyFans, probably I’m a retard but the inability to search which gash I wanna pay $5/mo for is frustrating at best.

Defend That Comic: another crapshoot, but sometimes I see ppl saying they HATE HATE HATE Mark Normand, and that’s fucking nuts. People need to plead the case: Che, Normand, Kelly, and TJ Miller!

What about “Reaction Videos?” It would take some targeted work, but also that shit lights UP my youtube searches, where negroes are FIRST watching hockey or some queer is just NOW hearing TOOL…. easy targets but should be a last resort

Internet FLOORED as yet another blog site is created!

They said it couldn’t be done!

Wait… wait… maybe they said it shouldn’t be done…?

Either way, I don’t listen to them.

So here we are.  A whole new blog site, housing all my innermost meatloaf recipes, childhood dreams, and probably a LOT of swearing.  Only the finest sailor-talk makes it into the vaunted pages of BRAINSHART.COM!